What to say to a girl on a dating site
S., over 100 teens shared with us their personal experiences with social media and romantic relationships. During the focus groups, technology – and especially social media – often was described as an integral part of the courting process for teens.These are some of the key themes and responses we heard during these data-gathering sessions. And I met a girl on there and she lived up in [location]. Half of all teens (50%) have let someone know they were interested in them romantically by friending them on Facebook or another social media site, and 47% have expressed their attraction by liking, commenting or otherwise interacting with that person on social media.A little bit more bold over text, because you wouldn't say certain things in person. You just wouldn't say certain things in, like, talking face to face with them because that might be kind of awkward. Text messaging and talking on the phone are the top two ways that teens spend time with their romantic partners – but when it comes to daily interactions, texting is by far the dominant way teens in romantic relationships communicate: 72% do so every day, compared with 39% of teens in romantic relationships who talk on the phone daily.Some teens in our focus groups mentioned that their communication choices often evolve with the intensity and duration of their relationships.
In our focus groups, we heard from teens who have broken up with someone via text.Some said that they used text messaging because they didn’t want to see their former partner hurt, while others wished to avoid facing anger or physical retaliation.Others said that they had never broken up with someone this way themselves, but have some sympathy for people who take this approach. But if it's something like they're having just general relationship issues or they're not interested in each other anymore, it's way too impersonal to do it like on video or on your phone. I think it’s kind of lesser and slightly disrespectful to do it through text, but I understand why, because it does take a lot to, like, go up to someone and say that you’re breaking up with them and to see their reaction.Many teens are online throughout the day on multiple platforms where their communications are visible to others, and dodging or screening communications from one’s significant other in this environment is fraught with challenges. But if you’re kind of like, oh, it’s kind of a like a waste of time, then you won’t do that.Teens in our focus groups described how a delay by their significant other in responding to a text message or phone call can make them feel ignored or unimportant, especially when they can see on social media that their partner is online: So recently, actually, like two days ago, my girlfriend actually got her phone taken away by her mom. So like a day or two passed by, I'm like wondering if I should text her. Check to see if she's looked at my Snap or whatever. But publicly sharing the details of one’s romantic life online is not without potential pitfalls, and many teens elect to not document their relationships in this way.